I am watching ‘Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves’ on Netflix on Demand. This movie is inevitably engrained in my history.
I went to the see this movie in 1991 at a drive-in with my dad, brothers and sisters. It was the last showing at the last drive-in the area. We paid to see a double feature. First movie up was 101 Dalmations. This movie was intended to tire out the children so they would be asleep in the back by the time the second feature started up.
I watched this movie as a 10-year-old enthralled with the action and adventure of it. The story of Robin Hood is mirrored in so many other movies. It is the man who stands up against the evil powers. It is the common thread of revolution from tyranny.
Being 28 I can see the flaws in this movie, but it still holds a special place in my heart.
P.S. Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio is really hot in this movie. And my twin brother really got into Bryan Adams’ music after this movie. One of us had our priorities straight.
When it rains it pours they always say. I don’t who they are that say that, but those people are annoying. People who spout cliches are the most boring people in the world.
That being said, I am busy. The past three weeks I have had two jobs. As a guy who has spent a lot of time unemployed I am enjoying the juxtaposition. I am working M-F on a show and have been picking up overnight shifts Friday and Saturday nights on a different show.
I think I am doing it a bit out of fear. When you are out of work you wait for a call for work. So when those calls come you don’t want to turn them down. Even if you already have the job. You fear that those offers won’t continue. You think that you should make the money while you can in case you hit a dry spell. But being busy is a great tool for being productive.
This all on top of trying to get better at stand up. Every night (minus overnight shift nights) I am off working on that. It is probably the hardest thing I have every tried to improve at. It is a crazy commitment, but I am loving it. Not in a naive sense, but in a ‘I accept the challenge’. I see a future in it, what that future is I don’t know.
But for the time being free time is at a premium. But that’s not a bad thing.
Or is there something known as Munchausen by Proxy for cars? I am sure there are a bunch of legit complaints, but I bet a lot of assholes just want attention or something for free.
The newest infomercial to assault the fragile self esteem of the obese American public is called ‘Mama Wants Her Body Back’. It is a specifically designed plan to get a post pregnancy woman’s body back into shape.
I can’t take this thing seriously because it is a very specific and gimmicky idea. Their sales pitch even involves throwing in a bonus DVD entitled ‘Mama Wants Her Abs Back’. Apparently the Body Back DVD doesn’t include the abs, but a body includes abs, so I am kind of confused. No need to worry people, confusion is not a new thing for me.
The American Exercise industry is the constant repackaging of the same basic exercises. Thighmaster, Bowflex, Total Gym, not much difference in the basic principles. Yoga, pilates, Bender Ball, Tae Bo it’s all a gimmick that people make money off of and you grow tired of it. They know that, they count on that.
New Year’s Resolutions and lack of discipline make for a constant cycle.
‘*Results not typical.’ They have to put that. Not because their plans don’t work, but because most people are quitters.
I do want to call and order the product though. I can take the phone call one of two ways. One, I call and pretend to be a husband who wants to ‘get the wife I married back’. Or I could say I want my body back since I just gave birth, all the while talking in a masculine voice.
Oh, I am bored and it is 3AM and I am at work. That should explain how ridiculous this post seems.
My car broke down on the 101 the other day. The tow truck driver was a burly Mexican guy. As we drove to the repair shop we shared a moment when Celine Dion’s ‘My Heart Will Go On’ came on the radio. Two guys in a tow truck listening to the love theme to Titanic, doesn’t get much gayier than that.
Look lame-o. Talk to women, might be tough, but it is so much better than any robot. I promise you that.
But just for fun let’s write some jokes about the sad sex doll and it’s Dr. Frankenstein.
-I hear it can be programmed to talk like KITT in Knight Rider. That’s not true, is it?
-How does that guy know how to program a woman’s orgasm when he can’t make a real one have one?
-Carry on a conversation? Unnecessary.
-It would be awesome if to turn it off you had to slap it in the face.
-When it goes haywire, twenty bucks says the newspaper calls it ‘The Cockie Monster’.
-This is the evolution of a creation that started many years ago when a lonely man first drew lips on his hand and rubbed one out.
-The creator says ‘It’s almost like the anticipation of a first date’. You sir clearly haven’t been on many first dates.
-Hines is apparently married, yet spent three years developing the doll. My guess is his wife is the inspiration for the preset Frigid Farrah personality that comes with the doll.
-Might I suggest using that money on hookers or therapy. Seriously.
Ok, I am about forty five minutes into the movie ‘Paranormal Activity’. This movie is really bad so far. It reeks of ‘Blair Witch Project’ where they build it all up for an hour and a half and then it is a shitty ending that is supposed to be scary.
Look people in the house. Why don’t you turn the lights on if you are so scared? If it was really all that scary and this was a real life situation then there would be more bed wetting and a hell of a lot more leaving. No one hangs out if this was real.
A note to this guy in the movie, your girlfriend seems to have skipped a few days of her meds. Maybe try exploring your options and signing up for online dating. Those girls will have their own sack of hammers to deal with but at least it won’t be ghost or poltergeist talk.
Apparently it is not a ghost in their house, it is a demon. If this was a real life situation it would end in a class action suit against the builder and developer of the home for making a crappy house.
**UPDATE. I finished the move. Worst movie I have seen in a long time, what a cobbled together piece of crap. They shot ‘The Blair Witch Project’ in a suburban house. End of story. It sucked.
Everyone loves a party, until it is the jerk next door inviting all of his idiot friends over to get all sorts of ridiculous until 4 in the morning on a Monday night.
Yes, that happened last night. I was sleeping in my living room cause my dad is visiting and the neighbors next door in my new apartment building had a little get together until the early morning hours. I could hear them all night. I am pretty good at ignoring sound and getting to sleep. Apparently my other neighbors were not so resilient to the noise.
Twice last night I awoke to someone pounding on the front door of the neighbor’s apartment. No one answered the door and the noise continued, I fell back asleep. I kind of wonder what happened.
This whole Jay Leno/Conan O’Brien/NBC thing reeks of a bad relationship. When you are younger and not sure of what a mature, solid, intelligent person would do, then you flip flop at will and think you are justified in doing so.
Ask any person who has had to listen to a narcissistic friend or maladjusted coworker talk about their relationship problems and they will say that they have heard this one before.
A relationship ends between two people (Leno/NBC) and they go their separate ways. One of the people gets into a new relationship (NBC/Conan) and they try to make an honest go of it. Conan went into this like a trusting person getting into a relationship, they thought there was going to be an interest to see this succeed and a honest attempt to build a long term thing.
Turns out the network was not over their ex (Leno) and he’s has been in the picture the entire time. Thus giving no chance of Conan to be appreciated and grow an audience. At the first sign of trouble they want to cut bait and go running back to Leno.
The thought that NBC has is that if they go back to Jay everything will be great and their ratings won’t suck. Nothing can be farther from the truth. They will get six months into ‘The NEW Tonight Show with Jay Leno’ and find they aren’t happy and want to cut bait. Well guess what NBC you are going to end up alone if you keep doing this.
The relationship is The Tonight Show and Conan just needs to leave it. It sucks because he has wanted The Tonight Show for a very long time. The problem is that NBC has The Tonight Show, and NBC is a terrible boyfriend.
My advice, ‘You need to leave them and find yourself something better, they don’t DESERVE YOU!!’. It sounds better coming from a sassy, black coworker.
